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katemonkey organized Secret Slasha 2005. I was assigned Beth, who requested Buffy/Nina, NC-17 and dark. This could be darker, I admit, but I think it fits the bill.

Title: Eyes That Were Stars
Author: voleuse
Fandom: BtVS/Angel
Pairing: Buffy/Nina
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: How blessed is the body you move in—how gone.
Notes: Post-NFA



The full moon rises over Rome, and to Buffy's eyes, it's a bottomless well.

She listens to the werewolf howl, and there isn't anything in her but regret.

Seven and seventy days ago, Los Angeles drowned in blood.

What's left of it, Buffy holds in a cage.

*


She's standing in front of the cell before sunrise, dismissing the slayer on shift with a quick jerk of her chin.

And then they're alone, and the room is brightening, a thin shaft of sunlight striking through the high window.

The werewolf twitches, one of its legs stretching out, then the leg elongates, smooths into a woman's calf.

Buffy observes the transformation passively, the fur thinning, the bones shifting, the muzzle receding.

When the sun is finally risen, the werewolf is gone, and Nina lies there in its place.

She yawns, baring her teeth. Opens her eyes, and sees Buffy.

"Hey," Nina says, and her tone is wary. She makes no move to cover her body; she's grown used to being seen in her skin.

Buffy opens the door of the cell, pulls it firmly shut behind her.

Nina watches her, eyebrows arched. "Angel let me out during the day, at least."

Buffy looks away. "It's safer this way."

She watches as Nina stands, ambles over to the cot in the corner of the cell. She ignores the clothes they've left for her, and stretches out on the cot instead.

"Safer," Nina finally murmurs. "Right."

Buffy backs out of the cell, shuts and locks it again.

"Someone will bring you breakfast later."

Nina waves a hand carelessly. "Yeah."

But Buffy's already out the door.

*


The months pass, and the months pass.

And the morning before the day of every full moon, Nina appears on Buffy's doorstep, resignation and resentment in her eyes.

Just like she had the first time.

*


One day, Buffy is delayed by a vampire nest. By the time she walks down the steps to Nina's cell, the night guard has already left.

And Nina is lying on her cot, legs spread and open to the room. Her hand is busy between her legs, and Buffy steadies herself against the bars of the cell.

She doesn't have to say anything, doesn't have to formulate an awkward greeting, because Nina, her eyes still shut, smiles and says, "Hey, Buffy." Her other hand is cupped over a breast, her thumb idly rubbing against her nipple.

Buffy clears her throat. "Hey." Her mouth is dry. "Should I--"

Nina's gasp interrupts her. "Angel used to do this thing, y'know, with his tongue?" She twists, adds a third finger, pumping steadily. "Right before he came." Her voice is urgent, but steady nonetheless, barely catching between words.

Buffy leans against the bars. The metal is cool through the lace of her camisole.

Nina starts to say something else, but the words choke off.

Buffy watches the sharp jerk of her hips, the way the muscles in her thighs tense, arching her body upwards.

When it's over, Buffy straightens, wipes her palms against her jeans.

"See you in a month," she says, and unlatches the cell door.

She can feel Nina watch her as she walks away.

*


A month later, after the night before the full moon, Buffy waits a deliberate half-hour, lets the sunrise as she stands outside.

When she enters the room, Nina's watching the door, fingers fluttering lazily against her pussy.

"Took you long enough," she says, while Buffy steps into the cell.

Buffy says, "Shut up," and yanks off her jacket.

She kneels in front of the cot and pushes Nina's hand away, replaces it with her own instead.

Nina lets out a moan, bucks against Buffy's hand.

"Tell me more about Angel," Buffy asks, and presses her thumb against Nina's clit.

Nina whimpers, and that's how it begins.


###

A/N: Title and summary adapted from Cate Marvin's On Parting:

Before I go let me thank the man who mugs you,
taking your last paycheck, thank the boss who steals
your tips, thank the women who may break you.

I thank the pens that run out on you midsentence,
the flame that singes your hair, the ticket you can't
use because it's torn. Let me thank the stars

that remind you the eyes that were stars are now
holes. Let me thank the lake that drowns you, the sun
that makes your face old. And thank the street your car

dies in. And thank the brother you find unconscious
with bloody arms, thank the needle that assists in
doing him in—so much a part of you. No thanks

to the skin forgetting the hands it welcomed, your
hands refusing to recall what they happened upon.
How blessed is the body you move in—how gone.


Originally archived here and linked here.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
dualbunny
Jan. 17th, 2006 10:31 am (UTC)
The Angel connection in this is just...really disturbing actually, but also the shimmering little detail that brings it to life for me. Fascinating interpretation of the request. :)
moodfic
Mar. 1st, 2006 11:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
marenfic
Sep. 13th, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC)
Buffy/Nina totally hits my "it's all about the third person" kink, and this is a perfect representation. Great fic.
moodfic
Sep. 14th, 2006 03:54 am (UTC)
Thank you! It seemed like such an odd pairing at first, but I really liked the way this turned out. I'm glad you liked it!
malfeasanceses
Aug. 7th, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, ouch. That's brutal. Especially paired with the poem.
moodfic
Aug. 17th, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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