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DW: Start Infinity Again (Ten/Rose, Jack)

doyle_sb4 organized dw_santa. I was assigned rhipowered, who requested Ten/Rose, or something with the Doctor, Rose, and Jack, with character development, a touch of angst, and no sap or smut.

Title: Start Infinity Again
Author: voleuse
Fandom: Doctor Who
Ship: Doctor/Rose
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Everything alive has its two sides.
Notes: Set after TCI, futurefic

There are moments when Rose knows she'll never get used to his new face.

As the days go by, however, those moments become few and far between.

When she's feeling especially lonely, though, she closes her eyes and listens to his voice.

And his hand slips around hers, and everything's almost just the same.


They're back in Rose-era London, because she does like to visit her Mum, and the Doctor is fond of a pub a few blocks over. He likes the curries, and they never laugh much when he asks for salt.

Rose rings Shireen, dodges out for a movie and girl talk, so the Doctor and Jack head out to the pub on their own.

The Doctor has the usual, and Jack gets tikka masala and the bartender's phone number.

After the third beer, Jack sits back and grins at the Doctor.

"Rose looked real happy," he muses. "Almost glowed, point of fact."

The Doctor raises his eyebrow, smiles. "The answer to your question, Jack, is no."

"Really?" Jack leans forward. "Not even--"

"Not even," the Doctor confirms.

"I have to say, Doctor, I'm a little disappointed." Then Jack's grin deepens, and his hand covers the Doctor's. "But not much."

The Doctor laughs, and Jack takes it for evasion.

He's only partially right.


Each time the Doctor smiles at her, Rose feels a thrill down her spine. And not because he's the Doctor, no. It's because there's a dishy bloke smiling at her, and she wouldn't be human if she didn't smile back.

In her more contemplative moments, Rose thinks she's a little bit shallow.

But then he leans closer, says they'll do whatever she wants, her heart desires.

Then, she catches her breath, and tells herself he didn't mean it like


Rose is exactly the same as she was before, the Doctor knows. Except for one, tiny, significant detail.

Before, he used to reach out, entangle their fingers together, squeeze her hand as they traded grins.

Now, she's the one to catch his hand. She slips beside him before he notices, and her thumb rubs a quick circle on the inside of his wrist. When he looks over, he hears her breath catch, and as they make eye contact, she'll touch his shoulder with her other hand.

He knows that look in her eyes, even though she's never turned it on him, even though he's never seen her use it on anyone, except for Jack.

When she does that, he isn't sure he recognizes her, quite.

Maybe his eyes have changed, too.


And Jackie's gone to the market, ostensibly to pick up the makings of dinner. As soon as she's out the door, however, Rose starts giggling, in a sort of horrified manner, about Howard and his fruits.

The Doctor nestles more deeply into his armchair and grins. "I'm really going to have to meet this Howard, some time."

"Howard? Really?" Rose puts her feet up on the coffee table and raises her eyebrows.

"Well, yes." He dislodges the remote control from the seat cushion, flips it between his hands. "Seems like he's important. To your mum."

Rose stares at him, and there's a smile hovering at the edges of her mouth.

Before he can parse why, exactly, Jack bursts into the room and declares he's making Irish coffee for everyone.


It's been three hours since Jackie went to the market. She called once, said she'd been delayed, and hung up before the Doctor could respond.

Rose's reaction to that was much closer to abject horror than amusement. Truth be told, he could have lived without having heard Jackie's giggles as she rang off.

To distract her, Jack thwapped the radio a few times and managed to find a station that played something other than synthesized drivel.

After a half an hour, however, Rose declares she likes synthesized drivel, thank you very much, and she switched the stations back to bubblegum vocals and syncopated drums. She nods firmly, and begins to dance her way around the room.

The Doctor drinks his coffee and remembers he used to like this music, too. Odd, that.

Jack laughs at Rose's exaggerated shimmy and shake, but he stands as well, crosses the room with a slink and a swagger that isn't on the beat. Somehow, it doesn't matter.

They meet in the middle of the room, and Jack catches her hand, twirls her around.

"Wanna dance?" Jack croons. It's the tone of voice the Doctor knows has made dozens upon dozens of sentient beings weak in the knees, or whatever might pass for knees.

To the Doctor's surprise, Rose shakes her head and bounces back.

"No thanks," she says. "I've already got a partner."

And she spins on her feet, once, twice, and halts in front of his armchair.

She holds out her hands, wiggles her fingers at him.

He thinks, maybe, the music isn't so bad after all.


It's three in the morning, and no sign of Jackie yet.

Jack's sprawled on the floor, his arms folded behind his head, his ankles propped on the coffee table. Rose sits on the floor, across from Jack, and three of the fingers on her left hand are touching the Doctor's right shoe.

He's retreated to his armchair, and had another Irish coffee. Jack and Rose have had quite a few more than one, and he closes his eyes and lets their rambling wash over him.

"She couldn't have been human, Jack," Rose protests, mid-story. "Humans can't read minds."

"Not in this century, maybe," Jack replies.

The Doctor interjects, "Actually--"

"But in the future," Jack continues, "sometimes it happens. Can I tell my story?"

"Sorry, sorry," Rose murmurs, giggling. "Go ahead."

"This girl was a mind-reader, and whip-smart to boot." Jack grins at the ceiling. "When she and her brother broke out, I was in the hangar...inspecting an engine."

"Stealing the blueprints, you mean," Rose notes.

"And I figured, hey, they don't seem like the bad guys. So I helped them out." Then Jack laughs. "Not that they needed it. She knocked out the guards like she was sneezing."

Rose strokes the Doctor's ankle, idly. "And her brother?"

"Her brother?" Jack rolls to his side, props himself up on his elbow. "He was cute, too."


Sometime before dawn, she drifts to sleep, her head leaning against the Doctor's armchair.

When she wakes, she's in his arms, and he's carrying her somewhere. "Doctor?"

"Shhh," he says. "More comfortable."

And then he's laying her down in her bed, pulling her shoes off. She squirms a little, but doesn't protest when he tucks her blanket around her.

She blinks, and he's staring down at her, with an expression she can't translate.

He bows, presses a kiss on her forehead, on her cheek. Then he's backing away, out, and he pulls the door shut as he leaves.

Maybe this time, Rose thinks to herself, maybe this time they will.

And she falls asleep hoping.


A/N: Title and summary adapted from Pablo Neruda's Sonnet XLIV:
You must know that I do not love and that I love you,
because everything alive has its two sides;
a word is one wing of the silence,
fire has its cold half.

I love you in order to begin to love you,
to start infinity again
and never to stop loving you:
that's why I do not love you yet.

I love you, and I do not love you, as if I held
keys in my hand: to a future of joy--
a wretched, muddled fate--

My love has two lives, in order to love you:
that's why I love you when I do not love you,
and also why I love you when I do.

Crossposted to dw_santa.



( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 8th, 2006 09:35 am (UTC)
It was great to begin with, with wonderfully intimate moments and an especially good Rose-voice, and then there was NERUDA. So awesome.
Jan. 14th, 2006 04:21 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!
Jan. 8th, 2006 07:22 pm (UTC)
This is sweet!

I'd say I'd like a sequel, but then that might take something away from this, as those tend to do.

I just love that story from Jack, and the thing with Jackie. And then little bit on the end. All of it!
Jan. 14th, 2006 04:22 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
Jan. 8th, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
I don't know how you have this knack for leaving me speechless. but you do. and it's really lovely.

and then there is the Neruda poem.
I have no words
Jan. 14th, 2006 04:22 am (UTC)
*blushes* Thank you so much!
Jan. 9th, 2006 04:50 am (UTC)
OMFG Sigh times.... eleventy thousand. Big BIG sigh.

Please tell me you're going to continue with DW fic, because MAN, you've got pitch perfect tone for it. Adored this, seriously.
Jan. 14th, 2006 04:23 am (UTC)
Er. Thank you, who_daily mod! *g* I'm thrilled you liked it.

I do plan to write more DW fic, yes. *nods*
Jan. 9th, 2006 03:22 pm (UTC)
Jan. 14th, 2006 04:24 am (UTC)
*g* Thanks!
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 14th, 2006 04:24 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 14th, 2006 04:25 am (UTC)
Thank you!
Jan. 10th, 2006 05:38 am (UTC)
Oh, this is just lovely. And your Rose voice is perfect.
Jan. 14th, 2006 04:25 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!
Jan. 10th, 2006 10:18 pm (UTC)
Oh yes... So intimate and tentative at the same time. An absolute treat to read. And with that lovely and so perfectly fitting poem to savor at the end. Wonderful! :}
Jan. 14th, 2006 04:25 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.
Aug. 16th, 2006 06:41 pm (UTC)
Great fic. Quick question: the brother and sister Jack helped...could they have been the Tams?
Aug. 16th, 2006 06:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And yes, they're absolutely supposed to be the Tams. *g* One of the original requests had been a crossover with Firefly, so I tried to fit it in, a little bit.
Aug. 17th, 2006 12:19 am (UTC)
Oh, now I want a Jack/River/Simon fic! Those three would be such fun together.
Jun. 10th, 2007 12:04 am (UTC)
Oh, lovely work! Great Rose-voice and a wonderful series of moments between them. :)

Going into the mems!
Aug. 1st, 2007 09:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
Feb. 24th, 2009 06:18 am (UTC)
*happysigh* This is really very lovely. Such simple and intimate moments between the characters. I just loved it.
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )

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